Complete your Jerry Seinfeld collection. Découvrez plus de musique, de concerts, de vidéos et de photos grâce au plus grand catalogue en ligne sur Last.fm. Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You for the Last Time. You need a chart of the elements if you wanna report the guy. A great activity where your main goal is to… not die. Oh, this guy’s a tremendous athlete.” The looge is the only sport that I’ve ever seen that you could have people competing in it against their will If they were just grabbing people off the street… “Hey, hey, hey… what is this?” “I don’t wanna be in the looge.” You put the helmet on, you wouldn’t really hear them screaming… You’d just… “You’re in the looge buddy.” World record. You’re just looking at the ingredients… I had a cold a couple of weeks ago. One of a kind men? What is with the BO and these guys? Well, because we were participating in many activities that were cracking our heads. They’ll torture you, they’ll kidnap you.” “It doesn’t matter, he has an ‘Old Henry’. I think, if I was an Olympic athlete, I would rather come in last then win the silver. At least the helmet is functional clothing. The hair is hanging on. And you can’t understand anything so you’re just reading ingredients. And what kind of scientists do this type of work? “Boy, I’m Superman but it’s a little chilly out and I’m glad I have this cheap little 10 year old kids jacket.” So I’m going out trick-or-treating but the mask’s rubber band keeps breaking and keeps getting shorter. Discover releases, reviews, track listings, recommendations, and more about Jerry Seinfeld - I'm Telling You For The Last Time at Discogs. We take their picture, we let them go.” “That’s how we get the front and side shot.” “The front is his face, the side is him leaving.” Why don’t they put the pictures of the criminals on the postage stamps? Movies. The fact that I had not seen nearly every Seinfeld episode (which now I have see most of) made this bit of stand up even funnier as … Beep-beep. Does that feel unexpectedly poignant now? This is the whole race. You know, those ones you gotta go: “Hey I got a little water there” “Hey I got a couple of drops.” What is it they think we would do with a faucet? Thank you very much. Seinfeld - I'm Telling You for the Last Time (Part 1/5) hawkeneem. And now you got way too much milk. We all accept it ’cause we see the stores everywhere. I can tell you this: if you’re engaged and you don’t wanna get married it’s a little tense. With Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Barryte, Grace Bustos, George Carlin. I could walk along with him if I wanted. I don’t know who started that. I trained, I worked out, I exercised my entire life, I never had a date, I never had a drink, I never had a beer, I was doing push-ups since I was fetus, I flew halfway around the world, everybody I knew in my whole life was there, the gun was shot… Eh, ooh! Just put people in the pool at the end of each lane for the swimmers… And that other one that I love is the looge When the guy wears this slick suit… This is on the bob-sledge run, but it’s not even a sledge. You’re just going: “What in the…” Not only they put that cherry puppet stuff on the dashboard so you get a cherry BO. Seinfeld - Stand up - I'm telling you for the last time sous titre francais 2e partiel'aéroportl'avion Everybody… Rhinoplasty! I saw "I'm Telling You For The Last Time" before I actually got into the series itself (I was young when it first aired and so now I am feasting off reruns). I'm Telling You for the Last Time is a 1998 stand-up comedy special and the second starring Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld, I’m Telling You For The Last Time (Script) June 9, 2014 Uncategorized aracelwhitfeld There are 40 hotels in Secret West and there are 5 concerns you need to ask in order to discover the best hotel for you here in Secret West. They don’t say: “Wait!” They say: “Wait up! ‘Extra-strength’ is the absolute minimum. Rotten Tomatoes, home of the Tomatometer, is the most trusted measurement of quality for Movies & TV. That’s a legal turn in Florida. “You know, he’s right. Even the fruit showers more often than this. “Ok. ‘Cause I could tell you. Bringing cats in from all over the neighborhood. I know it’s not easy for an audience to give standing ovation. “See the way that’s fading left, that one’s not ready.” “I don’t want that one.”, I’m very impressed with this seedless watermelon product that they have for us. “Maybe if you would have worked a little harder…” I wouldn’t have to do this. Thank you. What is it?” And they look up at you… “Chill-out hop-along. People coming up to the desk: “I’d like to check out.” The main thing is the bathroom, the shower, that’s gotta be good. What he does is observational comedy – at its most orthodox, and at the very highest level. Where? “Hey, we have seatbelts and oxygen masks.” “Things for you to use.” They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven’t been in a car since 1965. “I’m gonna get this, I’m gonna get that, I’m gonna pay for it, I’m gonna get out of here and get back to my normal life.” You see that same person 10 minutes later just… “What aisle is this?” “Why did I come up here?” Always noticing something new. I got it!” “Don’t worry about it.” “I’m using my arm!” But I’m sure there’re many dates going on in this room right now… Dating is not easy. They’re probably standing in the back, going: “Do you feel a draft, Bill?” “I can’t see anything back there, but it’s awfully breezy, isn’t it?” “You don’t think our huge fat asses are hanging out the back of this truck, do you.” “Why the hell would they do that to us?” “They already ride us around and kick us while we’re peeing, why would they stick our ass out of a truck?” But I have fully adjusted to the road. They must be planting something. 89 billion sold. Classic Jerry Seinfeld stand up comedy. What criminal mind could penetrate this fortress of security? We think we’re not, we think we’re very clever, we think we’re gonna foil the crooks. Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You for the Last Time. Standing ovation. Discover releases, reviews, track listings, recommendations, and more about Jerry Seinfeld - I'm Telling You For The Last Time at Discogs. That was a quality item there, wasn’t it? JERRY SEINFELD: I’M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME (1998) – Full Transcript Craig Ferguson: Does This Need To Be Said? On Jerry Seinfeld's debut CD, he already sounds sick of his material. Pretty amazing. “I’m riding a hammock here.” Looking up at my friends: “I don’t think that we all got the same kind of horse here.” It’s kind of a secure feeling. Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time' Synopsis: Live from New York City, Jerry Seinfeld, aided and abetted by a host of friends and fellow comedians, … We like women, we want women. So, a couple of weeks we go to the track. That’s pretty amazing to me. You know what the technical term for a nose job is? You gotta find it, you gotta hack your way through all the displays. To have cows just surrendering voluntarily? And you wanna get rid of it but you don’t wanna touch it. It’s a good amount of that.” But it’s so hard to figure out. He’s going: “Come on, come on” Obviously he’s in a hurry, the jockey’s in a hurry. Jerry Seinfeld – I'm Telling You For The Last Time Label: Universal Records – UD-53175 Format: CD, Album Country: US Released: 22 Sep 1998 Genre: Non-Music. They do not know that if you should accidentally trip and break your leg at any point during the race we blow your brains out. What is the “O” with a line through it, by the way? I’m sure, when you go to the medical school, they put that up on the board the first day “Ok, everyone, now remember, you got your tube coming down from the mouth” “and that goes into your circle area.” “That’s pretty much all we know.” “That’s it for today.” “Don’t miss tomorrow,” “we’re gonna practice making people waiting in the little room in their underwear” “and then you’ll all be doctors.” “That’s all there is to it.” Then they have to show you the pain… the part where they say: “Here’s where you hurt.” Pain is usually represented by some sort of lightning attacking the guy, glowing redness is popular, sometimes parts of the guys body will just burst into flames… Sometimes the whole guy is out of focus. What is that age that old people reach when they decide when they back out of their driveway, they’re not looking anymore. Number two, was death. Turn them all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes? It’s like a little surprise party. The drugstore’s really challenging because you have no idea what they’re talking about. Florida… A lot of old people down there. It goes through the little luggage car wash. Then you have the other genius, down at the other end, looking at the little X-ray TV screen. All rights reserved. He’s standing there… “What is that? I don’t know how to operate them. Get it down a foot at a time like this. I don’t know what goes on back there but I cannot conceive such a thing as actual dry cleaning. He doesn't swear; he does not express political opinions; he does not do adult material; he is rarely topical, so his shows don't date. And don't ask me how I know. (2011) – Transcript CRAIG FERGUSON: TICKLE FIGHT (2017) – Full Transcript DYLAN MORAN: LIKE, TOTALLY… (2006) – Full Transcript DAVE CHAPPELLE: EQUANIMITY (2017) – Transcripción completa DAVE CHAPPELLE: THE BIRD REVELATION (2017) – Transcripción completa … "I'm Telling You for the Last Time" is an outstanding comedic performance from the one and only, Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld's "I'm Telling You for the Last Time" is typical Seinfeld stuff--that is to say, of course, EXCELLENT SEINFELD STUFF. You can never get the ratios right on the dials. I mean, I’m sure the horses have some idea that the jockey is in a big hurry. They have to do their little emergency equipment show. Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. It’s just not gonna happen, just forget it. Later on, the helmet’s talking with the other helmets: “It’s a good thing he was there or I would have hit the ground directly.” “You never jump out of a plane unless you got a human being strapped underneath you.” “That’s basic safety.”, There are many things we can point to as proof that the human being is not smart. Working in a stationery store, a horse walks by: “Hey, wait a minute!” “I think he could be glue.” “How do we pick out the really sticky ones?” “You leave that to me.” “What about that one over there?” “He’s weaving around. 1998. Is this what’s happening? The definitive site for Reviews, Trailers, Showtimes, and Tickets Candy was my whole life when I was a kid. I enjoy tiny soap. Why don’t they just hold on to this guy when they’re taking his picture. Can’t he do something? To me the only thing tougher than the supermarket is the drugstore. “Take it easy, take it easy.” “You win, I’ll place… whatever.” “The important thing is your health.”, I’ve gone horseback riding. “Give me the ‘maximum-strength’.” “Give me the maximum allowable human dosis.” “Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit.” Why does that pharmacist have to be two and a half feet higher than everybody else? Now you can continue to download Jerry Seinfeld: I’m Telling You for the Last Time film for free. I just retired all my material. Writer: Jerry Seinfeld. Hey, wait up!” ‘Cause when you’re little, your life is up, the future is up, everything you want is up. If it rains do the cows go up to the farmhouse “Hey, let us in. He’s not coming anywhere. I enjoy any sporting event where nations get involved. A friend of mine is going in for a nose job next week. “Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die…” “There’s a fish. “I wonder what he’s got.” “That guy is a goner.” Then they call you… You get very excited when they call you ’cause you think now you’re gonna see the doctor. Jerry Seinfeld's "I'm Telling You for the Last Time" is typical Seinfeld stuff--that is to say, of course, EXCELLENT SEINFELD STUFF. Scooba-diving. Jerry Seinfeld: 'I'm Telling You for the Last Time', https://www.scripts.com/script/jerry_seinfeld:_'i'm_telling_you_for_the_last_time'_11241. What is this? You’re trying to steal candy. Oh, he did the "Tonight Show" many, many times. I mean, he’s on him, he’s hitting him with this thing. Lisez des commentaires honnêtes et non biaisés sur les produits de la part nos utilisateurs. The space-shuttle rockets have 20 million horsepower. You’re like: “What is this? You know, they don’t say like it’s in the vicinity, give or take, roughly… They brand it right into the side of the carton. The guy says: “What level rider would you say that you are?” I say: “I don’t know… Zero, nothing, whatever the system is.” “I can’t do it. It’s impossible. Any chance of going back to using rockets with horses, trying to keep track of how many we’re gonna need? Given Jerry Seinfeld's longtime popularity, it's surprising that I'm Telling You for the Last Time is his first comedy album; taped during a brief run on Broadway during early August of 1998. “We got another letter for you, mister Jon…” “I think that’s him…”, So we really had a good time… This is the end of a long tour. I find that the most exciting. Is this a big problem in the hotel business? Look at all the men you see with lovely women. You wanna know what men are really thinking? But… we have to fight these battles. If it's a bit, it's anybody's bit who does it. Taped for HBO in August 1998, on the final date of Jerry Seinfeld's tour appearances at New York City's Broadhurst Theater, I'm Telling You for the Last Time presents the standup comedian's so-called "final" standup, or at least his final tour with the standup material that made him famous. You can even get ‘strength’. What is the story on the sinks in airport bathrooms That they will not give us a twist-it-on twist-it-off, human-style faucet? Why do they make the horse trailer like that? It’s known as an eventual left. “Oh, you lift up on the buckle! “That’s your goddamn day right there.” “Oh, don’t screw with us.” “We know what day is the final day.” “And then it is so over.” Have you ever had milk the day after the date? You gotta fake it… you know, I’m shaking stuff holding it up to the light. Amazon.fr : Achetez I'm Telling You for the Last Time by Seinfeld Jerry (1998-09-22) au meilleur prix. Did you ever see some of the letters in these names? You’ve been a wonderful audience. We looked at the situation… We chose not to avoid these activities but to just make little plastic hats so that we can continue our head cracking lifestyles. I was kinda engaged about 10 or so years ago. No blank heads are allowed driving cabs in this town. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. They bury it way in the back in the supermarket. This is gotta be just the last living brain cell in this guys skull that comes up with this idea. more…, All Jerry Seinfeld scripts | Jerry Seinfeld Scripts. Get candy, get candy…” “Don’t go! ABONNEZ-VOUS. I never had a doctor saying to me: “-Are you having any pain?” “-Yes, I am.” “Are you having any lightning with the pain?” “Have you been in a fun-house mirror at any time?” Then they tell you about the pain relieving ingredient. I’m impressed by that. He’s always got the tube coming down here and then the circle area. I'm just saying'. She’s thinking: “I’m getting out before you’re getting out.” “You’re dead, you’re dead, I’m gone.” Then they always have to close that first class curtain, too. Seinfeld-I'm telling you for the last time 4e partie sous titre français l'alimentation, les supermarchés la santé, la pharmacie Téléchargeable. Is there any point in still comparing it… to the horses? I’m taking a big chance!” “I smelled it, you smelled it, what is it supposed to smell like?” “It smelled like milk to me.” I don’t know how they’re so definite, though. So he takes control. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. I know what you ladies are thinking… “No, no, not my guy. Feel safe in the airports thanks to the high caliber individuals we have working at X-ray security. Menu. We’re businessmen, we’re gonna miss our plane.” “Who cares! This seems to be their big qualification. I saw "I'm Telling You For The Last Time" before I actually got into the series itself (I was young when it first aired and so now I am feasting off reruns). The only difference between a date and a job interview is in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it. But I'm telling you for the last time. There’s always gotta be a lotta that. That’s for people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing.” “I’m a pro.” But if you have something that’s dry clean only and somebody goes to put it in the washing machine “Don’t put it in the washing machine! Who saw that potential? Jerry Seinfeld – I'm Telling You For The Last Time Label: Universal Records – UD-53175, Universal Records – UD53175 This is classic male idiot super-hero thinking. We’re just walking around, looking around. We’re all alone in the bathroom. That was very, very nice. How many alpine snipers are into this? Ok. Sorry, kid. I like sporty type things. I’m a single guy, by the way, there are no other guys attached to me. A Master of Arts thesis in Translation and Interpreting MATI (English/Arabic/English) by Abu Bakr Al Ani entitled, "Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You For The Last Time, Translation and Commentary," submitted in January 2015. Wherever women are, we have men looking into the situation right now. Scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it? We truly appreciate your support. I have to take that chance.” “Get candy, get candy…” So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you’re a kid your brain can’t even process the information. That’s more than enough. These are the complex inner workings of the human body, I assume. They look at cigarettes: “This will give you cancer, kill you an the kids.” “It’s good, I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” “Don’t drink this medicine and operate heavy machinery.” “Who cares. Now it’s a race against the clock with the expiration date. People are never really sure if they have milk. You gotta get out of the way of the water. Looking in that thing… I have looked in that TV screen. What the hell were they doing with a car on the goddamn Moon? Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world today. What planet is that from? I don’t want to be in other people’s showers. Regardez autant que vous voulez, gratuitement. Thank you. Clothing to me, for the most part, is just such a tremendous pain in the ass. I don’t even know what it takes to get a cab driver’s license. “Just calm down”, “Slow down”, “Come down here” “Sit down”, “Put that down” So I had my little costume, I was physically ready, I was preparing myself, I did not try on the costume prior to Halloween. Let’s see if you can.”, One thing I like about being with my older relatives is it makes me feel like a kid again. 40 gillion, 80 million, zillion, billion, killion, tillion… What is this? If you win in the bronze, you think: “Well, at least I got something.” But if you win that silver, it’s like: “Congratulations! He doesn't swear; he does not express political opinions; he does not do adult material; he is rarely topical, so his shows don't date. ‘Cause they gotta tell the story. “Oh, they got them in muskeet flavor now…” “What is ‘muskeet’?” “I wonder if it’s made from mosquitoes.” Produce section I always find challenging. They’re always like… “Are we doing’ this now?”, So, anyway, I’m thrilled to be back here in New York. Like, when you go to see the doctor, you don’t see the actual doctor first. I'm Telling You for the Last Time is a 1998 stand-up comedy special and the second starring Jerry Seinfeld.The special aired live on HBO on August 9, 1998 from the Broadhurst Theatre in New York City.It was then released as an album on cassette and CD by the same title that same year. Who’s giving out candy?” “Everyone that we know is just giving out candy?” “Are you kidding me? Why don’t we have that? I love airports. Jerry Seinfeld's "I'm Telling You for the Last Time" is typical Seinfeld stuff--that is to say, of course, EXCELLENT SEINFELD STUFF. “It’s a couple of sweaters, that’s all.” “One of them is square with an antenna coming out of it.” So feeble the things we come up with to foil the crooks! That makes absolutely as much sense to me. View credits, reviews, tracks and shop for the 1998 CD release of I'm Telling You For The Last Time on Discogs. Jerry Seinfeld: I'm Telling You for the Last Time 1998 | 13+ | 1h 9m | Comedies Months after his classic TV sitcom ends, the legendary comic returns to his stand-up roots to deliver his best jokes on a sold-out international tour. I mean it’s little, but they got tissues, towels, closets, compartments, tiny slot for used razor blades. There’s always that little tiny table there, tiny computer, little cramped seats, tiny food, tiny utensils, tiny liquor bottles, tiny bathroom, tiny sink, tiny mirror, tiny faucet. Death is number two? You know how these old people drive… They drive slow, they sit low. Doesn’t have the official Halloween markings on it. That’s your first line of defense. If you think of the amount of time, mental effort, physical energy, that goes into your clothes: picking’em, buying’em, does that go with that I don’t think I can wear that, I’m missing a button, this is dirty, I gotta get something new, that’s up my ass, can’t wear this… I think we should all wear the same exact clothes. Taped for HBO in August 1998, on the final date of Jerry Seinfeld’s tour appearances at New York City’s Broadhurst Theater, I’m Telling You for the Last Time presents the standup comedian’s so-called “final” standup, or at least his final tour with the standup material that made him famous. The cabbies and the BO. When they walk up to the supermarket, they really have a whole sense of purpose. The car comes to a stop… “It’s a good thing you honked.” “I had no idea how you felt.” Why do men behave in these ways? There’s nothing worse than thinking you have milk and not having it. But those people never had material like this. The ‘Wanted’ posters at the post office… You’re there, you got your package, you’re trying to mail something, this guy’s wanted in 12 states. Betting on the horses… you can’t possibly win. All accept it ’ s so hard to figure out na touch it stand himself, about fruit…... It rains do the horses definitely do not know Seinfeld series, too, can at! You, doesn ’ t recall Superman wearing a jacket say to the supermarket, really..., 1998 from the Broadhurst Theatre in New York City online at Last.fm come the! Plane, isn ’ t even have your magazine s not Manganese we see the doctor “. 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